Considering Halloween and the CMU game, a lot of crazy shit has gone down at WMU this past week. With all you drunkasses doing dumb shit, it’s hard to tell when you’ve gone too far, but for the guy dressed as Batman who puked on his bartender at the Grotto, it was pretty clear. It’s a party foul this bad raises some questions, so here are a few that we have for this mysterious yakker.
8.) What the hell did you eat?:
Most Broncos have seen their share of vom, but that shit was pretty raunchy. So much so that we can’t help but wonder what you must have eaten to produce a mess like that. Were those carrots in there? And what on Earth caused that ungodly smell?!
7.) Was it even an accident?:
Come on man, there was a bathroom right there. The exit was ten feet away, you were next to a trash can—why did you let loose right then and there? At this point we have to ask if this was even an accident! Was the bartender your nemesis? Do you enjoy making a scene? What was the real motivation?
6.) Was that your idea of a tip?:
We’re all broke college students, but a face full of puke is slightly less than the standard 15 percent. Most Broncos aren’t known for their generosity on the tip line, but even increased tuition doesn’t justify this poor of a tip.
5.) What did you say to your victim?:
Hopefully there was some attempt to apologize to her, but more likely it was some drunken form of a bad excuse. Or perhaps a clever one-liner? Maybe you just stared? Or are you like a drunk Happy Gilmore saying, “She shouldn’t have been standing there!”
4.) What did she do to you?:
We can only imagine how pissed she must have been, and some foul shit must have been said. Imagine one second you’re grabbing a $1 beer from the cooler, and the next second you’re covered in Batman’s puke. She probably jumped right over the bar and kicked your ass like her Wonder Woman outfit wasn’t just a costume.
3.) Did you still take your drink?:
Sure, you may have made a mess of The Grotto’s bar, pissed off a bartender, and ruined your costume, but you still paid for that beer sitting right in front of you. At Western, there is no excuse for letting a drink go to waste, so hopefully you wiped the chunks off the bottle and redeemed yourself a little bit.
2.) Did you rally?:
Anyone can puke on an unsuspecting person; it takes a real hero to not let the fun stop there. The boot-and-rally is a classic, but the boot-on-a-person-in-public-and-rally is legendary. Did you show that Bronco spirit and keep the liquor flowing all night or drink a glass of water and go to bed like a coward?
1.) Who the hell are you?!:
Amongst the myriad of goofy Halloween costumes, the puke covered Dark Knight slipped out of sight and off into the night. Are you even a Bronco or just visiting Chip trash? Are you a hammered senior or just a freshman with a fake? Whoever you are, you have a lot of questions to answer.
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