Well Broncos, it looks that we have luckily survived our first week of classes and it is safe to say that we’ve all learned a few things from Western Michigan Syllabus Week that’ll hopefully get everyone on the right track for a successful and booze-filled fall semester:
5.) Shit’s Expensive!:
Just when you thought you were done spending all the money you “earned” over the summer on crafting your room in Western Heights or Campus Court, get ready to spend more. We all already know that books are pricey, but it’s far worse when you have to buy a course pack, online access codes, AND that goddamn iClicker! It feels like getting mugged in the Student Ghetto every time you walk up to the one of Bookstore Alley’s cashiers with a new bundle of books.
4.) Professors Won’t Care!:
Sangren Hall sure looks lovely on the outside, but just wait till you meet the professors running that dungeon. So, before sending that 20th email asking when the first homework assignment is due, keep in mind that your professor won’t get back to you anytime soon and that assignment was probably due by the time you clicked “send.”
3.) The Bars Are Still Your Safe Haven:
The first week is always difficult, but that doesn’t mean you can pass up Happy Hour at The Old Goat, half-off drinks on Wednesdays at the Grotto, or mixed drink pitchers at Waldo’s! This is exactly what the bars were invented for: weathering the hurricane that is first semester. Don’t let books and stress weigh you down when the bartenders around here will always have your back.
2.) Everyone Looks a Little Bit Tired Compared to Syllabus Week:
At the start of Syllabus Week, Western had been treated to the sight of attractive, well-dressed Broncos walking up and down Greenwood and Fratville. Since syllabus week started, however, sweatpants, large t-shirts, reading glasses, makeup-less faces, and messy sex hair has overtaken the once-attractive flock of folk you partied with the week prior. The once-steeds of WMU have since turned to Amiatinas (look it up).
1.) The Party Never Ends!:
Time isn’t wasted when you’re getting wasted. Regardless of those 8 a.m.’s and exhausting walks to Brown Hall, Western continues to booze up like there’s no tomorrow. Hell, if you’re reading this in class, you probably should not be in class. Syllabus week is just like any other week at Western—it is meant to be filled with non-stop tomfoolery and some Keystones.
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