As another semester comes to an end and finals week creeps upon UW students, if you haven’t already been fortunate enough to experience a complete mental breakdown on campus, now is a better time than ever. Looking for a place to do the deed? Here are a few of our suggestions.
10.) Silent Section of the 2nd Floor of College Library:
Contrary to popular belief, it is possible to have a silent(ish) mental breakdown. But even if you do straight up sob and shake in the deafening silence, who cares. Everyone else is right there with ya, let the tears flow.
9.) Memorial Library Cages:
Are you being murdered? Losing your mind from the claustrophobic cages? Or maybe it’s just that you’re stressed, overtired and losing your mind because you just can’t with school anymore. Whatever the reason, no one would bat an eyelash because the dark cages themselves would make anyone cry.
8.) Walking Up Bascom Hill:
It’ll just look like you’re sweaty from the steep hike you’re embarking on. Fake it till you make it.
7.) At the Terrace:
Alcohol always makes you emotional, so people might think you’re crying happy tears over the sunset or the way the waves are crashing against the rocks…you know, sometimes nature’s marvels just hit you in the heart. But we all know it’s more like “I have 5 papers, 3 exams and 2 projects to complete in 4 days” mental break down.
6.) During a Yoga Class at the Serf:
Let your mental breakdown manifest in the fetal position during the “happy baby pose.” Could we just agree to change the pose’s name to the “cradle and cry” pose?
5.) Humanities Bathroom:
No one understands that building, so chances someone will find you crying in a bathroom stall is slim to none. You’ll be able to lose your mind in peace.
4.) A Study Room:
Rent one out and scream, yell, punch the walls and cry. Do whatever you got to do for the next two hours. Your rental lasts 2 hours and we think the walls are soundproof…
3.) The Theater Department:
They’ll just think you’re practicing your monologue or something. They won’t say a damn thing. If anything, they’ll tell you that it was a very convincing performance.
2.) At Your TAs Office Hours:
Let them bask in the glory of your mental breakdown. Besides they are the one grading you and are most of the reason you’re losing it. They deserve to experience this with you.
1.) The Middle of the Street:
It’ll send a, “this is what will happen to you if you go here,” message to all the high schoolers on campus tours who are young hopefuls whose perceptions of college comes from romantic comedies. Crush those dreams.
College is hard and you’re so close to the finish line Badgers, but a mental breakdown is bound to happen so let it out wherever your heart feels so inclined.
Like booze before noon? So do these guys…