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10 Reasons Greg Gard is the Ultimate DILF

When most people mention Greg Gard they talk about his impressive tenure as assistant coach of the UW men’s basketball team or his success after his first year in charge of the program. However, Greg is more than just a driven and successful basketball coach. He’s also a DILF. Like, if Michelle wasn’t around he’d be one of the most sought-after bachelors at UW. But what is it about Greg that gives him such raw, animal magnetism? Here’s the top 10 reasons Greg Gard is the hottest DILF around Madison.

10.) He’s a hard worker:

If you need a man to do some chores around the house, have we got the guy for you. Greg is known for being very driven, working his very hardest to improve his team and his players. We’d let him mow our lawn any day.

9.) He’s not afraid of commitment:

Before becoming the head coach at UW, Greg spent the previous 23 years working under and assisting legendary coach Bo Ryan. Now that’s the kind of committed guy you want to put a ring on (which is probably why Michelle did). 

8.) He looks great in a red tie:

In the business world, a red tie symbolizes strength, power, and authority. Red is also the sexiest color out there, so we’re all glad he’s kind of contract-bound to wear it all the time. Plus, it really makes his eyes pop. And other things, too.

7.) His name has some great alliteration:

Everyone knows that having an alliterative name instantly makes you hotter. Need proof? Robert Redford, Amy Adams, Ryan Reynolds, January Jones, Danny DeVito. We rest our case.

6.) He’s a family man:

You can’t be a DILF unless you’re actually…uh..a dad. Greg Gard has all the key traits of a family man: commitment, dedication, loyalty. Why are the good ones always taken? *sigh*

5.) He’s a philanthropist:

Not only is Greg dedicated and hardworking, he’s charitable as well. He recently started his own campaign called “Garding Against Cancer” that is making waves in the cancer research area. Handsome and altruistic? Please ladies, form a line.

4.) He has his own website:

And we’renot talking about some two-bit GeoCities page from 1999. We mean a professionally made website with videos and a mailing list and everything! Now, we don’t want to sound like gold diggers, but anyone that can afford to host their own website is doing pretty well for themselves. Cha-ching, right?

3.) He’s well educated:

Greg has a master’s degree in counselor education, so you know he’s a smart fellow. Plus, since his degree is in counseling, he probably knows how to talk about his feelings. Where else can you find a guy who can do that?

2.) He has a sense of humor:

Every woman wants a guy that’s funny, and Greg has been known to tell jokes to his players to help break the ice. One of his favorites is, “Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he was feeling kind of crummy.” Insert blushing cheeks and giggles here.

1.) He has a beautiful smile:

Enough said.
Real catch, right? And even though he’s indefinitely taken, and probably didn’t accept the creepy Valentines you tried to send him this year, you can still swoon over him from the stands of the Kohl Center this March.


WATCH: We made Malort cupcakes. They are bad.


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