After a heartbreaking loss at the season opener against LSU then a shrug-worthy win over whatever the state of Illinois manages to call a football team, Badger fans have plenty to drink about these days. However, every Saturday is a new opportunity for Wisconsin football, and the fact that this week’s game makes it even more promising that you’ll have the time of your life tailgating regardless of what’s on the scoreboard. With that, The Black Sheep has created a drinking game to ensure you’ll have a nice buzz going before you can even finish the phrase “Eat Shit, Fuck You.”
Take a drink every time you:
-Spot a three-story beer bong.
-Walk by a group of middle aged men and women—most likely alumni, who will be sure to let you know this at every chance they get—tailgating.
-Pass a child on the street way too young to be anywhere near Randall, Breese, or Lathrop Street festivities.
-See a group of girls with bows on their hair and red lipstick on their mouths/the rim of every fucking cup they’ll encounter.
-Hear someone yell out “WOO!” for some seemingly unprompted reason.
-Partake in the beloved Wisconsin tradition of the “Eat Shit, Fuck You” chant.
-Get told by one of your friends “kick off is coming up soon—should we start heading to the game?”
Take a shot every time you:
-See someone in game day bibs.
-Hear someone playing “Jump Around” (you should also stop and do just as the song title implies—but that should really go without saying at this point).
-End up pre-gaming at the home of someone you don’t even know.
-Play a game of flip cup/beer bong/anything that requires red cups, a ping-pong ball, and a shitty piece of plywood that somehow passes as a table.
-Lose a member of your friend group at a pregame (take another shot if you come to the conclusion you’re not going to try to look for them).
-Yell profanities at someone wearing apparel that supports your opponent’s school.
-Get told by one of your friends “seriously you guys, kick off is in a few minutes—let’s get going.”
Finish your drink if you:
-Take a three-story beer bong.
-Pee outside. Make yourself another drink if you did so in a very public area—hell, go ahead and chug that one too if you did all this without getting a public indecency ticket.
-Steal a brat from that same group of middle-aged Badger alumni that you took a drink for earlier.
-Did something that prompted a group of people to chant “ASSHOLE” at you.
-Successfully snuck your alcohol into Camp Randall.
-Get told by one of your friends “you guys, kick off happened like 10 minutes ago—can we FINALLY go NOW?”
Drink everything you’ve got if:
-The Badgers win.
-The Badgers lose.
-You made it through the whole game without having to leave early for a nap/food/more alcohol.
-Your nagging friend’s efforts did nothing and you didn’t even make it to the game.