It seems the ghost of a student’s pet dog, dubbed The Dogman, has returned to the corporeal plane with a vengeance on young millennials (apparently his owner fed him Beneful instead of Eukanuba back when he was alive). He’s focused his ghostly energies on some prime places for scares on campus, and we were able to capture some video of the paranormal activity with special ghost technology (believe it or not, there is an app for that). It is recommended to stay away from these areas, especially if you’re a cat person.
This is already a scary place to begin with, what with the whole not being able to navigate its confusing, creepy corridors. Apparently, you can’t even quietly read in peace either.
Even the hardworking, oblivious IMC workers completely focused on their job and nothing else aren’t safe from The Dogman. He feeds off an undeserved sense of safety. You’re never safe. Always remember that.
Honestly though, if you’re hanging out in the Barnard basement, you’re just asking to get the crap scared out of you by a non-corporeal human dog. That place is haunting and luxuriously furnished. It’s like the hotel from The Shining down there.
That’s right Chadbourne residences. It seems you’re not even safe in your own (albeit rented out) home from The Dogman. Lock your doors, and implement the buddy system if you need to go into the CML.
Good luck deciding which of the bajillion entrances to Humanities you’re going to use with The Dogman on the loose. You won’t get far before. He. GETS YOU.
2.) Humanities Bridge:
This student thought Dogman was a troll, but trolls don’t exist, that’s absurd. The ectoplasmic Dogman did ask him a riddle in order to pass the Humanities Bridge, however, but the student couldn’t figure it out. He’s dead now. Shame.
1.) Science Hall:
People don’t actually go into Science Hall, do they? It looks haunted, and apparently, it is. If you’re someone who frequents the building often (do you even exist?), be careful about going up those steps.
So please, be safe this Halloween. If you throw up, stop drinking (or at least stick to clear liquids for the rest of the night…and no by that we don’t mean vodka, c’mon…). Don’t eat candy corn because it’s disgusting and makes you look disgusting, and, for the love of God, stay away from Dog/men hybrids who are apparently Badger fans.