Sprang break is officially over and while you recuperate, people are bound to have questions about your trip. Of course you can’t tell them what really happened because you didn’t actually go anywhere and the highlight of your spring break was not having to wait in line for Babcock ice cream at Memorial Union, #riveting. So to make you look like a badass, here are a few things to say to your fellow badgers when they ask about your ratchet sprang break 2k17.
7.) “We just laid out on the beach most of the time”:
Technically it is not a lie. So maybe you weren’t on a beach, but instead a couch. But the couch was a sandy brown and you laid on a blanket and “blacked out” by falling asleep after a brisk walk past Lake Mendota. It could have easily been a warm sunny beach if you think of it that way. See what we did there?
6.) “We met some really dope people from all over”:
Those “really cool people” might have been people in Madison for the WIAA boy’s basketball tournament, who needed directions to the terrace; but nonetheless you met them! So what if they were from Kewaunee, Wisconsin. Who’s to say they weren’t really cool people.
5.) “I barely slept, I was up until like 4 a.m. every night raging”:
It’s true, you were up until about 4 a.m. everyday watching Netflix. If that isn’t a rager we don’t know what is.
4.) “The weather was nice”:
For Madison, Wisconsin it was nice….a balmy 45 degrees with sun. It really doesn’t get much better than that in Wisco.
3.) “It was great to unwind and chill”:
Absolutely nothing about this is a lie. Besides, Madison was a ghost town over break so it was chill af.
2.) “I barely remember the trip”:
What is there to remember when there wasn’t anything to remember? The only thing worth remembering was how on Wednesday A8 China got your order wrong and it was the second day in a row you ordered it.
1.) “We should definitely go on a spring break trip next year”:
Because there is no way in hell you’re staying in Madison again for spring break next year.
Stick to these 7 phrases and no one will ever suspect you didn’t do anything for spring break.
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