It’s that time again, UW-Madison students! Time to enroll in classes for another semester at this wonderful institution dictatorially shaped by Governor Scott Walker. Regardless of your major, there are some classes you’ll want to look out for this fall – all of which have incredible reviews, great professors and teach practical wisdom. One of them is even real! The Black Sheep UW-Madison’s course guide begins below.
10.) Folklore 341: How to Bullshit Your Way Through College Using Folklore:
This class is for the committed bullshitter. We’ve all had those situations where we had to turn in an assignment late, didn’t want to do homework, or making it to class was like, literally, SO hard. Using the English language and advanced storytelling techniques, you’ll learn methods to make your carefully-contacted emails even more eloquent.
9.) Population Health Sciences 120: Living with a Roommate:
UW-Madison once considered this class a requirement for all freshmen. We’ve all lived with difficult roommates at one point, so why not use this Social Sciences breadth requirement to learn how to do so better! Methods discussed include passive-aggressiveness, tactics for stealing food, and game theory of the thermostat.
8.) Dance 107: Drunk Dance:
What a practical skill to be learning in college! One of your friends could definitely use this, and that friend just might be you. Learn to channel your drunk dancing tendencies to pick up whatever gender you prefer, and earn credits while doing so.
7.) Dairy Science 601: Colloquium on Cheese:
A class only offered at UW-Madison and UW-Platteville, this career colloquium looks at those working in the cheese industry and how they go about their work. For your final, you’ll go to a farm and drink milk straight from the udder. This class is sure to be an enriching and engaging experience for all involved.
6.) English as a Second Language 200: Cómo engañar a la gente en español:
En esta clase, aprenderás a hacer que la gente piense que sabes español, incluso si tu única experiencia es en la escuela secundaria. Esta clase es altamente recomendada para personas que no hablan español. Incluye el dominio de Google Translate.
5.) General Business 666: The Art of the Deal:
Listen to a senile business professor talk about why Donald Trump is amazing while you successfully zone out for an entire semester. Projects include deluding the media and demagoguery.
4.) Philosophy 304: Louis CK and Philosophy:
Everyone’s favorite inflammatory comedian is brought into the classroom, as students will explore how one of the world’s biggest cynics approaches life. Expect to watch a lot of videos.
3.) Atmospheric and Oceanic Sciences 102: Advanced Meteorology:
In this four-week short course, learn all the skills you need to forecast the weather on TV.
2.) Emergency Medicine 201: Ah Fuck, That Drunk Dude Just Passed Out:
Imagine the following scenario: it’s a Saturday night, and your consistently-drunk homeboy David is puking profusely in the upstairs bathroom. In this class, you’ll master skills that will help you take care of your drunk friends when the day inevitably comes that they’ll need you.
1.) Anatomy 500: Anatomy of…well, you know 😉 :
The only class to ever include a winky emoji in the title in recorded history, this class is exactly what you think it is.
Choose wisely children. You only get so many semesters, you can’t take them all. 😉