It’s that time of year again! When all the wanna-be frat pledges receive tasks from their superiors that must be done in order to prove themselves worthy of the name Alpha Hamma Ki (or whatever). The Black Sheep has compiled a list of some of the best and, frankly just plain odd, pledge tasks we’ve seen so far this semester.
10.) Call Your Grandparents:
Nana and Pappy want to hear the voice of their special little Badger, and your fraternity, the kind souls that they are, don’t want to deprive them of that.
9.) Sort Through your Trash to Make Sure Recyclables are All in the Same Place:
Just because your fraternity crushes more beer in a normal weeknight than most small universities do in a month doesn’t mean they aren’t responsible when it comes to the environment. In line with their environmentally friendly campus (Union South is made up of a majority of recycled materials. True fact, look it up) your UW fraternity wants to make sure their pledges prove their passion for keeping the earth clean and safe. “Treat the earth well: it was not given to you by your parents, it was loaned to you by your children.” – Ancient Native American Proverb (and something your fraternity’s treasurer probably said when he was high out of his mind).
8.) Register to Vote:
For your class representatives, obviously. You’re going to be stuck with whomever you choose for the next 4 years so you need to take it seriously. You can choose the bigoted redhead you sit next to in your chem lecture, or that know-it-all girl who sits in the front of your class in poly-sci. Don’t be like that dick from The Last Crusade. Choose wisely.
7.) Go to a Yoga Class:
Pledging can be stressful…treat yo self!
6.) Join a Student Org to Push you Out of Your Comfort Zone:
If you’ve always been scared of virgins… join the quidditch team! If you’re a Republican, join the Socialist Club. If you like the taste of human flesh, create a cannibal subcommittee of WUD Cuisine!
5.) Wear Weather Appropriate Clothing All Week Long:
Frat Bros Do. Not. Catch. Colds! Especially with all this coughing going around, you can never be too careful. Bundle up and chug that Emergen-C!
4.) Explore State Street and Make a List of your Favorite Shops:
“Short Stack Eatery is sooooo good. Oh, and you just have to try DLUX, they have bottomless mimosas and they totally accepted my fake!” Maybe check out B-Side Records if you got time, too, yeah? Helping out the little guy will score you brownie points with your frat.
3.) Take a Picture in Front of the Capital Building:
Maybe one of those things where you pretend to be touching the tip of the building. This will make everyone think you are just so hilarious and original.
2.) Spend an Afternoon Lounging in the Sun on Bascom Hill:
A tan pledge is a good pledge, so soak up those rays while you still can. Winter is coming.
1.) Saw off your Dominant Arm and Refuse Medical Treatment for Over an Hour.
This will show dedication and toughness to the other fraternities. Your frat ain’t nothin’ to fuck with. (Again, most likely said by your treasurer, this time while plastered out of his mind).
Happy pledging ya’ll! Break a leg! Unless it’s not one of your pledge tasks, in which case just try not to hurt yourself.
Zombies, footballs, and beers oh my: