We couldn’t help but notice that some of the sorority and fraternity names at UW sound like they are straight out of a Harry Potter book. It makes sense; Greek life is a majestic and mysterious thing. So if you’re considering spring rush, you might want think about what kind of spell your sorority or fraternity is known for (if UW were Hogwarts of course). So, imagine saying the following names in an English accent while waving a wand over your Gryffindor scarfed neck.
Sig Phi Epsilon:
This spell has the power to turn any light bulb red. What is this useful for? We’re not really sure, unless your favorite color is red. Why is this associated with Sig Phi Epsilon? Your guess is as good as ours.
Delta Sigma Pi:
This spell will instantly change your attire into a suit and you will be holding a briefcase filled with important papers. You might not know why the papers are important, but something tells you not to throw them away. Also, everyone at the office will call you (insert first letter of your first name here) – dog.
Longing to be surrounded by water? Well you’re in luck, because this spell will transport you to the nearest dock. You will be naked, though. And drunk. Drunk out of your mind. Happy swimming.
Phi Gama Delta:
This frat, like all frats, is known for pumping out hella successful students who can afford vacations in far off, sexy lands. So, obviously, this spell will send you to a tropical Island, most likely Fiji. How you get home from this island is not included in the spell, however.
Pi Beta Phi:
This awesome spell allows you to grow a pair of wings and fly away off into the sky, just like an angel, which are coincidentally just like Pi Beta Phi members. Hope you’re not afraid of heights!
Kappa Kappa Gamma:
Do you feel like your fashion sense is lacking or feel like you just can’t keep up with the consistently evolving fashion trends? Kappa Kappa Gamma members don’t, which makes perfect sense seeing as how this spell miraculously makes you have very good fashion sense. No need to worry about that top “totally being last season” if you know this spell.
Do you feel underappreciated? Don’t worry; we’ve all been there (except the members of Alpha Phi). If you don’t ever want to feel underappreciated again use this spell! No one who meets you will ever forget you. This spell’s street name is Forget Me Not, like the flower, so that’s pretty neat.
Delta Delta Delta:
Try to say that ten times fast; it’s quite a mouth full. Not to be confused with Beetlejuice, if you are able to say this tongue twister, whatever is in front of you will triple in quantity. Can you say winning?! For example, if you have one dollar, spew out “Delta Delta Delta” and now you have three dollars! That’s like a whole tall drink at Starbucks! OMG, so much excitement!
We’re pretty sure the Greek system is the Hogwarts of campus. There might not be a Hufflepuff, Gryffindor, Ravenclaw or Slytherin house on UW’s frat row (yet), but the houses there sound like they belong in a Harry Potter spell, which begs the question “why the hell not?” Also, you have to say these spells in an English accent or it’s just not fun. And you want to be fun. Or else.
Hey dummy, listen (AND SUBSCRIBE) to the Year in Review episode of our podcast!