It’s Oscar season! You know what that means? Hop into a garbage can and start yelling at everyone who walks by for looking at you funny, you ol’ grouch! (Yikes! We’re only trying to prepare you for the terrible banter you’ll have to endure from Chris Rock as well as all the award presenters—we’re looking at you John Travolta.)
There hasn’t been this much Oscar hub-bub around campus since back in ’05 with the release of King Kohl. You’ll remember the story of the giant Badger that was taken from Skool Island and terrorized the entire campus before making his home inside the Kohl Center where he was unfortunately killed. That’s why we always preferred the 1998 classic Mighty Kohl Young—basically the same story but the Badger lives.
But, we’re very proud that UW has so many great titles up for best picture this year:
UHS Wars: The Flu Awakens:
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This long awaited film becomes the 7th in the UHS Wars series. Similar to episode 4, again students become sick and, using Osmosis Jones style CGI, our protagonists shrink down and enter the dark space-like chasm that is a student’s stomach (played by Frankie Muniz in his big screen comeback). Also lookout for Becky Blank’s cameo when Chewbacca accidentally takes his mask off.
The Hateful Eight-y
The eighth feature film on the Madison Metro Transit, this stars an amazing ensemble cast including favorites Sammy L and Tim Roth, as well as the entire Wisconsin Men’s basketball team stuck on a bus driven by Sandra Bullock that cannot drop below 50mph without exploding. With poisoned coffee, several intermissions along University Ave., and a subway decapitation fight while strapped to a bed, we’re putting money on this horse to win.
Mad SAC: Study Road
Another great from the Mad SAC series, in this post-exam world the Student Activities Center, as well as all 17 campus libraries, have been taken over by evil Immortan Joe and his study gang, where he forces students to study for exams they will never have. Heroin Lori Berquam and her awesome rebel squad will have to fight their way out before dying of boredom, or food poisoning from Chipotle that’s been sitting out too long.
Plus, we have one nomination for best actress too!
Wisconsin Alum Joan Cusack in Straight Outta Kronshage gives a gripping performance as she must help a group of sophomores assimilate into Southeast party lyfe after living as quiet frosh. Their acceptance is essential if they are to get any disrespect from the police who bust their parties. Joan made her acting debut on campus back in ’88 with Lakeshore Slaughter Path IV: Unhappy Badgers. Terrible reviews, but the film has now garnered a cult following rivaling that of Badgernado.
To vote for your favorite UW Oscar nominees, hit us up on Twitter: @BlackSheep_UW