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Top 7 Sexiest UW-Madison Alumni

We thought it fitting to give all you Badger’s a bit of inspiration. These sexy humans have all successfully attended and graduated from this great establishment. They walked the same grounds you walk today and maybe that means you’ll be successful as them someday. Here’s the top 7 sexiest UW-Madison Alumni. 

7.) Carrie Coon:

carrie-coonThis one’s a no-brainer. Carrie is super-sexy-hot. You’ve seen her in Gone Girl and HBO’s The Leftovers which she won a critic’s choice television award for best actress in a drama series. Plus, she’ll be in season 3 of Fargo; fingers crossed for some sexy snow scenes.

6.) Robert Greene:

Robert GreeneThose eyes. It’s like they’re piercing into your soul… and slowly seducing you—oh my God, put your pants back on! Greene’s 2nd book, The Art of Seduction, sold more than 500,000 copies. Can’t say a book about his beard trimming technique would be quite as popular though.

5.) Adrian ‘Wildman’ Cenni:Adrian CenniEveryone loves a Wildman, and nothing is sexier than a little self-advertising. At least that’s what we think at The Black Sheep. Adrien’s a triple threat: he owns his own $2M company, is a professional stuntman, and a professional off-road truck racer. And if you’re still not impressed, he is the first person ever to land a 360 degree barrel roll in a vehicle. That’s just how we roll at UW.

4.) Carol Bartz:Carol Bartz YahooYahoo! Need we say more? Anyone working in the field of yahoos is definitely on our sexiest list. Plus, cocktails and colorful blazers? She might just be the real life Lucille Bluth/Malory Archer. This former Yahoo! CEO has really got it all going on.

3.) Algie Martin Simons:Algie Martin SimonsThough he’s not a recent alum, there is something so sexy about late-1800s garb ever since we saw Trans-Siberian Orchestra last year. Algie was part of the socialist movement, and was a journalist and newspaper editor and yada, yada, yada… everything about his look is currently back in style and we are digging it.

2.) Joyce Carol Oates:Joyce Carol Oates We know what you’re thinking. Sorry pal, she’s taken. This beauty got her masters at UW and is now a famous novelist. She also has been mistaken for piñatas at several parties, due in part to her frilly paper-like shirt, but more so because she always has hard candy in her purse. Her thin hair, large eyes and gaunt-like face overall have won her the crown of sexiest female alum on our list.

1.) Erwin Neher:Erwin NeherGood ol’ Erwin. He was rocking the wolverine look before it was cool, and again after it stopped being cool. The beard really is what gets us though; and the fact that he’s a Nobel Prize winning physiologist. His brain is so big and erogenous it sucked his hair back into his head to fuel it. Don’t know if you knew, but that’s what causes male baldness in most cases. 

We apologize to all the alumni who did not make the cut. We recommend investing in hair gel, body glitter, and silk button-downs for next year’s competition, as the theme will be sexy glam band looks.

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