Weren’t able to get into the system this summer and snag your season football tickets? Have some friends coming to visit UW and they “just need” to go the game? Then you’re going through the difficult task of trying to scavenge a ticket to the Wisconsin v. Michigan game without breaking the bank. And since according to Madison law and the FB groups’ rules, you can’t sell for more than ticket price, you end up everytime in a bartering match for a ticket advertised as $1, only to have them turn around and be like “mk $500 and your firstborn ty.” So, here are a couple options of goods and services to exchange – ’cause we know your broke college ass doesn’t have any extra money laying around.
6.) Your seat near outlets at College Library during finals:
Finals week: when everyone you didn’t see in the library earlier int the semester is suddenly in the library in an attempt to save their subpar grades. If you’ve attempted to find a seat at the lib during finals week, you know the feeling of Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and (coming in Summer 2018) 6. Offer a prospective seller your services as a library-spot-finder, and worry about the consequences of this later. Much like what everyone does with finals.
5.) Piggy back rides up Bascom:
If you meet someone who doesn’t loathe walking up Bascom, walk away immediately, because they aren’t human. The normal person who goes to UW would prefer not to walk up this mass of land at 8 a.m., so a way to get ticket holders to notice you is to offer them a way out of it! Offering to be someone’s legs while hiking up Bascom is an intriguing prospect, and even if you don’t get that ticket, feel free to steal this as a business idea.
4.) A written cover letter:
This one’s for you, English majors. All college students have to write cover letters when applying to internships and “real” jobs. The real question is: who the hell knows how to write a cover letter. Offering up a perfectly executed cover letter would really persuade those seniors who have been avoiding that post-college-real-life-doom.
3.) Your HBO/Showtime/Hulu/Netflix/Spotify information:
There’s definitely some ticket holders out there that are dying to watch the latest season of Shameless. Use it to your advantage and offer up your password in exchange for the ticket. You can always change it later if you really wanna be a dick.
2.) Blackmail on their group project members:
This one will work if you happen to be a private investigator, or were just really good at hacking your exes phone. Offer to find dirt on their nasty group project members, and then blackmail them into being helpful, fully functioning group members. Everyone hates group projects, but this service would make student life so much easier!
1. A kidney:
When all else fails, a body part might do the trick. The key is making sure you throw out this option last– we can’t have you giving away your biggest item out first– negotiating 101! Pro tip: know your blood type beforehand. All six of these goods and services will be sure to make you stand out in the ticket sales group and guarantee admittance into the big game on Saturday– if you’re willing to put in the blood, sweat, and tears. Worry about the repercussions later and cheer your heart (kidney) out now!
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